Recently, on a list that I am on, someone asked what they could say to people who want to pet their fearful dog, a dog that might nip a stranger out of fear.
I am saddened that anyone feels they have to have a good line to keep people away from their dogs. It should go without saying that no one approaches any dog to pet it without asking permission and waiting for owner or handler to give them permission. And all owners, whether the dog is fearful or not, should be able to say to someone who asks to pet their dog or who tries to pet their dog "not now but thank you for asking." You should not need a reason. If someone perseveres just say your dog is feeling out of sorts or has had a stressful day or whatever: you really don't need to explain anything further than "not now, thank you." You should not have to explain why you don't want them to pet your dog or why they shouldn't pet your dog. I am a huge believer that words are things and words can affect outcomes. So just say, not now, thank you.
I teach children about safety around dogs. And I wish more adults would come to my classes.
I teach that no matter how cute or how friendly a dog is, that they should never approach a dog to pet without permission. I teach that dogs are individuals and just like people, they have good days and bad days. I teach that dogs are dogs, and if they are not feeling well, even the nicest one might snap because that is the dog's way of shouting NO!. I teach them to ask permission (but only if the dog is attached to a leash that is attached to a person's hand) to pet the dog. And then, only if they are given permission, should they pet the dog. I also teach them to put their closed hand in front of the dog's nose so the dog can sniff them. Then I teach them not to go for the top of the head (and I show them what a dog will do if they do go for the top of the head by using a stuffed dog and showing them just how far back a dog can move his head in order to smell a hand coming from above); I teach them how to safely pet the dog under the chin. I teach them to do all this without staring at the dog.
I also teach the children some of Turid Rugaas' calming signals, explaining that every dog in the world has a language that every other dog can understand from the time they are new puppies. I teach that dog language is mostly about calming others or keeping others away from them, both other dogs and people. And I teach them to use a few of the signals.
I teach them not to run away from a loose dog. I teach them how to stand still and never stare at a loose dog approaching them (actually I teach them to never stare at any dog because that means you are challenging the dog).. I teach them to get off a bicycle if a dog chases them and do the standing still thing. And I do what I can in the time I have to teach them to read a dog.
It amazes me how many children when I bring my dog into an event will rush forward to pet her. I stop them and have them sit down in their chairs until I ask them to come forward. I also turn tables on them and ask them how they would feel if someone touched without their permission, especially some stranger.
Unfortunately, we as a general population have lost a lot of innate knowledge about dogs. Fewer dogs run free; most dogs have to be leashed or fenced in a yard. So it is less necessary for a child or an adult to have to know how to read a dog's body language and treat a strange dog with respect. People see dogs as cuddly pets and think they should be able to touch any dog they see, leashed or unleashed.
My point is that no one with a fearful dog should have to worry about people approaching her dog because no one should approach any dog without permission. Approaching a dog without permission is not only just plain stupid; it is bad manners in the doggy world as well as in our world. I shop at a yarn shop that has three loose Shelties -- I have never touched any of them. I talk to them quietly and go about my business. Since none of them seek me out, I feel they really are not looking to be petted.
Dogs have that right. We should all help others understand that. And we should never hesitate to say, "not now, thank you."
